I finally made the decision to do something I should’ve done a long time ago — I got contacts!

For quite some time now, the quality of my vision has been… subpar.  On paper, it’s not that bad.  My prescriptions have maintained around +1.00 for both eyes over the past eight years.  But, there are many things that I can’t see or read clearly.  Whether it’s subtitles on TV screens, signs from afar or especially people’s faces at a distance, I have to blink a few times or squint before I can potentially see them.  Many of my friends are aware of this problem, and they’d ask, “Don’t you have glasses?  Where are your contacts?”

I never liked the way I looked in glasses.  I got my first pair of glasses around junior year in high school.  They had silver rims.  I might pull them out to read whiteboards in class every now and then, but for the most part, they just sat in my bag untouched.  I got my second pair of glasses two years later.  This time, they had no rims.  I liked them better in the beginning.  Eventually, though, they received very similar treatment as my first pair.  In my junior year of college, I bought my third pair of glasses.  They were of thick black frames — arguably more fashionable than the previous ones.  I remember when I first pulled them out, a couple of my friends even said, “Oh, I like your new glasses!”  But, still.  I could barely keep them on for longer than a couple classes or meetings.  Asian in glasses?  N-e-r-d-y.

Then you’d ask, “What about contacts?”  And I’d tell you over and over again that I don’t like the idea of putting something in my eyes.  But, here’s my confession to you, friends.  The real, honest truth was that I did not want to become dependent.  Because I know that I would accept the way contacts look on me (if I didn’t, there’s not much I can do about it), I was afraid.  I was afraid to officially become someone who needs glasses of some form all the time.  I wasn’t very fond of the image.  It makes me think about people who frantically search for their glasses when they wake up each morning.

A few weeks ago, however, a friend asked me if I was going to get contacts while I’m in Hong Kong.  I gave my usual spiel, but then he said, “You’ll need them unless you plan on wearing your glasses much more during work…”  What brought it home for me was a timely commercial from Bausch, where two girls were brought into a board meeting by their boss, and only one girl was able to answer the question asked because she could actually see what was projected on the screen.  The other girl, on the other hand, had to squint and was thus slower.  As Mike would say, it hit me like a brick.  There are much more important functional needs than the silly emotional barrier I had.  After all, lenses were invented for the very reason…to allow us to see.

On Tuesday, I got my eyes checked.  The first time I put contacts on, I looked at my mom who was sitting all the way on the other side of the store and said, “Wow.  Mom, I can see you.”  I could even read the menu of the coffee shop next door.  The eye specialist also taught me how to put on and take off my contacts.  I learned so quickly the guy told me I was pretty talented!

I’d been in denial.  “My eyes aren’t that bad.  They’re much better when I get enough sleep!”  And hey, it was true.  But, what does it matter if I never get enough sleep for the majority of the days?  And now that I have my contacts, I know that getting them was never even that big of a deal in the first place.  More importantly, I am excited to take a second look at the world.  I bet there were sooo many things that I missed out on seeing even while looking.  I wonder who I’d missed seeing in the 1000 times I’d walked up and down Sheridan Road.  Maybe I would’ve beat Neal in beating Heavy Rain if I could see some of the details on the screen…

Maybe my eyes will now be less tired at the end of each day too.

As an extension of last week’s conversation (hence blog post), mom and I spent another afternoon tea talking about challenges in life.  She asked me if I was worried or scared about anything as the start date for my first full-time job is approaching.  I told her a couple things, ranging from people to tasks, from short to long-term opportunities.  And that’s when she said, “Always remember what I tell you today.  Your most valuable asset is here.”  Mom pointed to her head.

It’s not fear.  It’s anxiety.

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” she said.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” FDR once said.  I believe he was…close to correct.  There is the assumption that underlying fear is an evolutionary program that yearns for inaction, avoidance, or impulsive reactions.  But, fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat.  It merely alerts us and raises the urgent question: Hey, fight or flight?  Reading The 50^th Law by 50 Cent and Robert Greene this week reminded me of fear in its purest form.  Remember the first time you saw fire as a child?  An evolutionary product, fire naturally instills fear.  Of course you remember that you were scared.  But, do you also remember what slowly emerged was this provocative feeling that simultaneously urged you to move closer to it?

That’s right — fear itself asks you to choose.  Some time between then and now, we’d forgotten that adventurous, weird joy that is innate in fears we feel.  We let the darker side take over.  We start to consider it a sign for all flight and no fight.

What’s the darker side?  It’s anxiety.  Anxiety forms and acts internally.  It’s all in our head.

There are no real regrets from action, only inaction.

Mom also made me realize that there are no real regrets from action.  Only inaction could lead to real regrets where nothing is gained, and everything is lost.

The prospect of regrets make people feel anxious.  We are afraid to make the wrong decisions, afraid to sacrifice the wrong people and things, and afraid that we can never turn back time when we fail.  But, we shouldn’t have to.  Learning is an absolute value from our life journey: Success + Failure.  Even when we made a bad decision, took the wrong turn, we still learned.  You’re always in the positives.  The harder you fall, the more you learn.  So, what’s to regret?  What’s to go back and change?  Time is really a way of evidence for our learning.

But inaction is a different case.  Regret is justified because you’re mourning for what you hadn’t learned and perhaps still hasn’t learned.  The lost is real.

Your mind is your foundation, and it is your everything.

In the end, what Mom was trying to tell me is that I should just focus on learning and building my foundation in the first couple of years out of school.  Who knows where life is going to take me?  But, the experience that I gain — regardless of successes and failures — are what I get to keep for life.  It will build the foundation for my decision-makings in the future.  It will give me the power to achieve my goals and dreams.  It’s something that absolutely no one has the ability to take away from me.

Our minds are our most powerful weapon.  We can store the world, move boundaries, and envision future with it.  When you cultivate and nurture yours correctly, dreams are to be achieved.  The rest are just emotional fluctuations.

Yes, I love my hometown.

This past weekend I was in Shanghai for the World Expo 2010; it was also the first time I had been back since five years ago.  I was waiting to be impressed!  There’s been a lot of recent hype about the city — from news media to word-of-mouth from friends — that it has rapidly developed into a vibrant city.  A new Hong Kong, just as good, but even bigger and with higher potential.  It was also a huge deal when the Chinese government announced about a year ago that they will establish Shanghai as the new financial base for the country.  It was frightening news.

Hong Kong’s economy is essentially built on its finance, real estate, and the tourism industries.  When the announcement was made, I’d subconsciously begun to adopt the mindset that Shanghai should be my new career goal.  At the same time, I’ve condemned all those Hong Kong people who openly protest against the Chinese government and their legislations.  China is going to ditch us, Hong Kong.  Stop it or we’ll die.

Funny enough, Shanghai did not surprise me too much.  Other than its size, I can objectively profess that we have a better subway system, (slightly) better breathing air, better skyline, better city design and, sorry to say, better cultured people.  It’s certainly much more advanced than where I left it five years ago, but nonetheless highly overrated.  No matter how much China is willing to devote to Shanghai, it cannot quickly displace half a century of effort of the British.  Secretly, I was almost relieved for my hometown.  Long ways to go, Shanghai!

Yet, in a conversation with a friend, I found myself saying, “I love the place…but, the people, eh, not as much.”  It’s all a little difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t lived in the place for an extended period of time.  But there was a story in the news today that rather exemplified the situation.

A Hong Kong 10^th grader has been found to not know how to tie his shoelaces or how to wash his hair.

Don’t read this story wrong — this boy is perfectly capable of performing those tasks physically.  But, when having multiple maids at home is normalized in a society, children like this boy, unfortunately, do not feel the need to learn such miniscule everyday tasks for their own survivals.  We have been overly blessed.  The opportunities to challenge our younger generation have been limited.  As a result, we have bodies of volatile personalities and mental states.  Suicide stories due to stress from school, peer pressures and (puppy love) relationship problems are regulars.

There’s a Chinese saying, “Males need to be raised poor; females need to be raised rich.”  I learned it just a few weeks ago, and have appreciated its meaning since.  Gender roles have changed and we’re not necessarily talking about ideal spouses here, so the literal meaning might not be as relevant.  However, it still hits home with two points.  Having been in situations of difficulties, it builds ambitions and character.  Having been in situations of the privileged, it establishes standards.

Hong Kong has standards.  It’s such an incredible city, it never fails to amaze anybody that visits.  I’m always proud to showoff my hometown.  But it’s current lacking ambitions and the concentration to self-discover once again.  We’re too proud of ourselves.  When we, including myself, look at the China Mainlanders that admire our glamorous landmarks and sites, there is a collective sense of superiority.  But, it’s a trap.  We’re stuck at how we’re better than others.  And at the sign of threats, we only know to ridicule or blame.  We have all that it takes to continue to thrive, we just need to learn to focus on ourselves again.

Hong Kong, you are the most wonderful place on earth, so, please, don’t settle.  You are your toughest competitor.

Today I am much more appreciative of our weekly blog posts.

This week has by far been my least productive.  Being at home, both my body and mind need adjustment.  For one, I’ve been sick and haven’t been able to sleep well.  But more importantly, without my cult and without a proper work environment (i.e. a work desk), it’s been difficult trying to make serious progress when family and friends just want to spend as much time together possible before I head back to the states for work.  The fact that I have a job lined up has also been frequently cited as the reason to relax and an excuse to push personal development plans to the side.  Now I’m stuck in the present.

It’s not all external, of course.  Who am I kidding?  It’s been one of those weeks where all I do is feel bad.  I feel tired.  Then I watch my crew do more and more over the week, and I feel even more behind.  What do you do during these lows?

I realized that your most important and effective inspiration is your very self.

Earlier this week I read a blog post on how our future self is unreliable and is even more likely to postpone tasks because you’ve already set the precedent to permit those behaviors.  Sure, that helps set your mind straight a little.  But, in the end, you haven’t met that guy or girl in the future yet.  How do you, Trent Hamm, know that I wouldn’t be productive, say, tomorrow or next week?  The future self is one part, but it’s not enough.

Let me introduce you to the past self.  Now that’s someone you’ve met.  They might have been a little less knowledgeable and even a little fatter or skinnier, but, without a doubt, they were an empowered, optimistic, and ambitious individual that set all the goals and expectations for today’s you.  You could read all the biographies and listen to all the advice you want for others’ hopes and dreams, but nothing is as nearly as powerful and close to heart as the hopes and dreams you had for yourself.

I saw Elizabeth Castro’s HTML for the World Wide Web on my bookshelf, which I bought when I wanted to learn to build websites two years ago.  Obviously, that never happened.  I just added another unread book to my collection.  I could dwell on how the future self for then, i.e. today’s me, is still half-procrastinating.  But, instead, it reminded me of all the hopes I had for myself.

I came across an email I wrote to a friend about my summer plans merely a couple weeks ago.  I cited a long list of goals and tasks, and I said I’d make it work.  I felt her energy.  I’ve been there, exactly.

Not to mention, our eight weeks worth of blog posts.  They represent not only ourselves as individuals, but as a group.  We strive to learn everything, to be leaders, to never settle, to live selflessly….as we derive happiness.

When you feel inspired, write it down.  Share those feelings with friends and loved ones.  I’m grateful for all my friends, all our emails, and all the blog posts today.  They put me back in sync with my past self and thus future self.  Thank you.

What if your life was on fire?  What would you risk your all to take with you?

Our biggest obstacle to “not settling” is the weight we currently feel on our shoulders.  How do you keep moving forward when you’re bogged down by all these basic living necessities, people obligations and prior commitments?  After four years, I finally graduated from college this weekend.   And from the repeated farewells and goodbyes and the never-ending packing, I had one simple realization: We can lose more than we think.

To my surprise, I did not cry during graduation.  I was never even on the verge of tears.  Did my high school graduation mean more to me, because my friends and I would take ten billion pictures and almost refuse to leave campus?  Not at all.  But rather, I believe, this time I was able to strip down the entire experience to the core and be content to keep just that close to my heart.  I can let go of the protected and homey Northwestern environment, as long as my regiment remains intact and fighting.  All the gained knowledge are now internalized.  They construct our intuitions and logics to decisions.  We’ve learned to learn and to practice what we preach.  It’s in our blood — and there is no need to dwell on those past happy moments.  It’s time to move.

There is also not always the need to have.  I have the tendency to dig for physical objects to throw out to de-stress sometimes.  But, even after doing that for years, I realized while packing that I could still throw out much more if push came to shove (for an easier moving experience).  It was a funky feeling when I could finally convinced myself that something is unnecessary or that its sentimental value transcends its physical presence.  It literally makes me laugh at my silly self.  Why has this been here for three (or however many) years?  Why was I never able to let it go before?

Because a lot of times, we never really realize how much we can live without, until we actually live without.

Naturally, I came up with a vegetable metaphor — let’s imagine we were all onions for a second.  We have an unfathomable number of layers, each representing a necessity, obligation, or commitment in our lives.  At what point do you lose too many layers that you start scratching the surface of your core or even damage it? In the beginning, it is an easy game.  But, as you move further, you start to hesitate, “Can I peel this one off, too?  What if this is it?  Is this suicide?”  Those are essentially the questions that we struggle with, all too often.  We just would not know the real answer until we are willing to risk our lives to find out.

Of course, the process is much easier said than done.  But, this is the mentality that we need to constantly strive for — to let go in order to move on, to say “no” in order to say “yes”.

To not settle is to live, and it is something worth dying for.