Impact.

Which is worth more: your skills or your impact?  I thought this was a rhetorical question.

However, this became a topic of debate when I recently reconnected with a high school friend.  Let’s call him John.  For the longest time, I thought John studied “geography” and “environmental issues.”  But, I realized that I got it all wrong.  He has simply tried to avoid talking about or explaining his actual concentration — because he’s ashamed of it.

What does he really do?  Geographical information systems (GIS).  Basically, my friend can create the essence of widely used navigation systems, such as Google Maps and GPS, the maps.  He can code data, layer by layer, and figure out the answers to many market questions.

  • What’s the most efficient route?
  • Where’s the highest concentration of people at a certain time of day?

Now that location-based technology is all the more prevalent with Foursquare, Facebook Places, Google Places…his pursued profession is absolutely relevant to the growing opportunities from all over the world.

But while I thought it was the coolest thing on earth, John simply responded, “Compared to all these friends of ours who are becoming bankers and lawyers…I feel like a loser.  I don’t like talking about it… For my masters, I’m thinking about switching to the surveyor route.”

What?  Why?!  Are you serious?

—–

It’s not about the tasks.

“ I just map things.”

John has trouble explaining his major to others sometimes, so he just claims to be a geography major.  His argument is that that is his major.  For an hour, we argued about his ill-presentation of himself.  If you really think about it, the tasks for whatever professions are never so exciting.  In consulting, it’s research, brainstorm, create decks, and present.  Investment bankers create excel spreadsheets, run the models, create decks and present.  Awesome??  In the end, it’s the results that establish the glamorous reputations.  John may just be creating the maps, but companies use them to manage their costs and to market to their targets more effectively.  His work is enabling!  We’re not out to discover the job with the most exciting tasks, are we?

—–

It’s not about the title or others’ perception.

“People would immediately recognize it if I tell them I’m a surveyor!  I’d stand out.”

Sure, I understand that the perception of a surveyor is, put shortly, math genius.  You are automatically categorized as smart, but…so?  When he explained what surveyors do (see, he had to explain anyway), I pointed out that it’s a reactive profession.  Surveyors measure geographical elements.  Is this land suitable for building a skyscraper? You measure and report.  I have no doubt that it requires a lot intellectual power, but you really have no control or influence over any of the results.  Should your career be determined by the implied skills of your profession and how much others would appreciate them?

“I do want to do something extraordinary someday.  I want to learn how to fly a plane…  It’ll be my side hobby.”

My immediate question to John was, “That’s it?  You’re going to settle just on that?”  It confused me that the one extraordinary event of his dreams would be a hobby that’s, no offense, so selfish.  Should a person be content simply because they acquired some peculiar skills?

—–

It’s about your impact.

I told John, “You can literally change the world (by mapping it differently!  I kid.)!”

What’s worth more: your skills or your impact?  I still believe it’s a rhetorical question.  Skills are unfortunately ranked by society, but one person’s impact should never be valued more than another’s. It is an individual’s ultimate breakthrough from social constructs.

Obviously, one can argue that without some skills, a person can hardly create the impact.  But, the sad realization is, skills can exist without impact.  There are more people than ideal who are willing to choose skills over impact — just to ensure that they could gain others’ approval, just to feel good about themselves.  It’s unfortunate.

Perhaps people should decide on their impact first, then on the needed skills.  That’s what we did.  It becomes too obvious then.

Maggie’s got contacts!

I finally made the decision to do something I should’ve done a long time ago — I got contacts!

For quite some time now, the quality of my vision has been… subpar.  On paper, it’s not that bad.  My prescriptions have maintained around +1.00 for both eyes over the past eight years.  But, there are many things that I can’t see or read clearly.  Whether it’s subtitles on TV screens, signs from afar or especially people’s faces at a distance, I have to blink a few times or squint before I can potentially see them.  Many of my friends are aware of this problem, and they’d ask, “Don’t you have glasses?  Where are your contacts?”

I never liked the way I looked in glasses.  I got my first pair of glasses around junior year in high school.  They had silver rims.  I might pull them out to read whiteboards in class every now and then, but for the most part, they just sat in my bag untouched.  I got my second pair of glasses two years later.  This time, they had no rims.  I liked them better in the beginning.  Eventually, though, they received very similar treatment as my first pair.  In my junior year of college, I bought my third pair of glasses.  They were of thick black frames — arguably more fashionable than the previous ones.  I remember when I first pulled them out, a couple of my friends even said, “Oh, I like your new glasses!”  But, still.  I could barely keep them on for longer than a couple classes or meetings.  Asian in glasses?  N-e-r-d-y.

Then you’d ask, “What about contacts?”  And I’d tell you over and over again that I don’t like the idea of putting something in my eyes.  But, here’s my confession to you, friends.  The real, honest truth was that I did not want to become dependent.  Because I know that I would accept the way contacts look on me (if I didn’t, there’s not much I can do about it), I was afraid.  I was afraid to officially become someone who needs glasses of some form all the time.  I wasn’t very fond of the image.  It makes me think about people who frantically search for their glasses when they wake up each morning.

A few weeks ago, however, a friend asked me if I was going to get contacts while I’m in Hong Kong.  I gave my usual spiel, but then he said, “You’ll need them unless you plan on wearing your glasses much more during work…”  What brought it home for me was a timely commercial from Bausch, where two girls were brought into a board meeting by their boss, and only one girl was able to answer the question asked because she could actually see what was projected on the screen.  The other girl, on the other hand, had to squint and was thus slower.  As Mike would say, it hit me like a brick.  There are much more important functional needs than the silly emotional barrier I had.  After all, lenses were invented for the very reason…to allow us to see.

On Tuesday, I got my eyes checked.  The first time I put contacts on, I looked at my mom who was sitting all the way on the other side of the store and said, “Wow.  Mom, I can see you.”  I could even read the menu of the coffee shop next door.  The eye specialist also taught me how to put on and take off my contacts.  I learned so quickly the guy told me I was pretty talented!

I’d been in denial.  “My eyes aren’t that bad.  They’re much better when I get enough sleep!”  And hey, it was true.  But, what does it matter if I never get enough sleep for the majority of the days?  And now that I have my contacts, I know that getting them was never even that big of a deal in the first place.  More importantly, I am excited to take a second look at the world.  I bet there were sooo many things that I missed out on seeing even while looking.  I wonder who I’d missed seeing in the 1000 times I’d walked up and down Sheridan Road.  Maybe I would’ve beat Neal in beating Heavy Rain if I could see some of the details on the screen…

Maybe my eyes will now be less tired at the end of each day too.

Key to success?

You are the reason you will be successful.

A friend and I attended a web startups event in Hong Kong on Saturday.  It had a series of panels on various topics, including the entrepreneurial journey, funding, and the future trends, and also three startups showcases for both fundraising and publicity purposes.  There was a humorous moment when one of the VCs made the comparison:

“Entrepreneurs who’d say, ‘We have this grand, amazing idea… we just won’t tell you yet’ is the same as us telling them, ‘We have a lot of money… but we just won’t give it to you.’”

What I found insightful about the analogy was that ideas are compared to money.  Both are merely seen as media of exchange.  Neither is the key to success.

What I especially liked, was when Mr. Kin Ko, both an entrepreneur and an investor, spoke on bootstrapping.  He discussed how bootstrapping is a good discipline because it forces you to understand your own business.  As long as you understand your customers and can generate your own revenue…

“…the bootstrapping phase can be so good for you…you may never have to leave it.

It really isn’t about how much money you can raise or even how analysts value your company.  It’s about passion, flexibility, tenacity, problem-solving instincts within chaos, execution… it’s about you.

“It’s not about the idea; it’s the people.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this said, but, more importantly, the many times it’s exemplified.  It happened, again, when we watched some of the startup showcases.  The first thing I noticed was that many of the startups were essentially clones of widespread U.S. web businesses such as Groupon or Foursquare.  In fact, Foursquare had two clones in one showcase!  It seemed so easy.  Just transfer the idea and technology and, BOOM, you’re an entrepreneur in Asia.  But, the important thing to recognize is that very few, if any at all, of those startups have truly succeeded.  It was surprising to find companies in their 3rd or 4th round of funding yet still barely heard by public.  The essence of social media, the users, are hugely missing.  Whose problem was it?  Ideas are just not perfect.  They aren’t transferrable without vision for the market and its potential.  They aren’t transferrable without the right understanding, passion and talents.  It doesn’t matter how much money you’re able to raise.

It’s not the idea.  Or the money.   It’s execution.  It’s the people.

In the corporate world?

Those of you in the corporate world…don’t think this is all N/A to you, myself included.  Will we ever stop letting money determine our next career move?  We also have a different type of medium to evaluate ourselves — it’s called brand.  Earlier this week, I heard this ridiculous story of how a girl, three weeks in at another renowned consulting firm,  is still dreaming of being hired by McKinsey.  Why?  Because she thinks that in the far future, McKinsey will get her in the C-Suite, whereas the current company will merely give her a Director or VP title.  It’s mind boggling that people think that excelling in one interview or making one correct decision in life will get them through the rest of it.  Sure, a strong (alumni) network is a real perk. However, it can only carry you so far.  It’d get you to the door, but will it get you to the other side?

Why do people rather have such blind faith in something so outside of themselves?  If you’d rather let the idea, the money, or the brand do the work, then you’ve made the decision to give up control.  If it turns out to be a success, it’s not yours.  If it is a failure, don’t complain because you didn’t do anything.  We should never rely on the likeable characteristics of external factors to win our battles.  We are all we can rely on.  We are our key to successes.

Mind & emotions

As an extension of last week’s conversation (hence blog post), mom and I spent another afternoon tea talking about challenges in life.  She asked me if I was worried or scared about anything as the start date for my first full-time job is approaching.  I told her a couple things, ranging from people to tasks, from short to long-term opportunities.  And that’s when she said, “Always remember what I tell you today.  Your most valuable asset is here.”  Mom pointed to her head.

It’s not fear.  It’s anxiety.

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” she said.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” FDR once said.  I believe he was…close to correct.  There is the assumption that underlying fear is an evolutionary program that yearns for inaction, avoidance, or impulsive reactions.  But, fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat.  It merely alerts us and raises the urgent question: Hey, fight or flight?  Reading The 50th Law by 50 Cent and Robert Greene this week reminded me of fear in its purest form.  Remember the first time you saw fire as a child?  An evolutionary product, fire naturally instills fear.  Of course you remember that you were scared.  But, do you also remember what slowly emerged was this provocative feeling that simultaneously urged you to move closer to it?

That’s right — fear itself asks you to choose.  Some time between then and now, we’d forgotten that adventurous, weird joy that is innate in fears we feel.  We let the darker side take over.  We start to consider it a sign for all flight and no fight.

What’s the darker side?  It’s anxiety.  Anxiety forms and acts internally.  It’s all in our head.

There are no real regrets from action, only inaction.

Mom also made me realize that there are no real regrets from action.  Only inaction could lead to real regrets where nothing is gained, and everything is lost.

The prospect of regrets make people feel anxious.  We are afraid to make the wrong decisions, afraid to sacrifice the wrong people and things, and afraid that we can never turn back time when we fail.  But, we shouldn’t have to.  Learning is an absolute value from our life journey: Success + Failure.  Even when we made a bad decision, took the wrong turn, we still learned.  You’re always in the positives.  The harder you fall, the more you learn.  So, what’s to regret?  What’s to go back and change?  Time is really a way of evidence for our learning.

But inaction is a different case.  Regret is justified because you’re mourning for what you hadn’t learned and perhaps still hasn’t learned.  The lost is real.

Your mind is your foundation, and it is your everything.

In the end, what Mom was trying to tell me is that I should just focus on learning and building my foundation in the first couple of years out of school.  Who knows where life is going to take me?  But, the experience that I gain — regardless of successes and failures — are what I get to keep for life.  It will build the foundation for my decision-makings in the future.  It will give me the power to achieve my goals and dreams.  It’s something that absolutely no one has the ability to take away from me.

Our minds are our most powerful weapon.  We can store the world, move boundaries, and envision future with it.  When you cultivate and nurture yours correctly, dreams are to be achieved.  The rest are just emotional fluctuations.

Decision-making is a lifetime activity.

On Thursday, during afternoon tea with Mom and my brother, Mom shared stories between her and Dad and some of the decisions they made at different points of their lives.

Then Mom asked me, “Did you ever think that Dad and I might not have had the money to send you to college?”  Umm, no. I really never did.  I took comfort in what our family has.  After all, they said that I could go to college, right?  But, Mom reminded me that there are still many ways for things to take a different turn at this point in life.  What if Dad’s business failed halfway through my NU career?

It was one of those conversations that humanize parents.  You learn more about their strengths and weaknesses, challenges they’ve faced, and even whether they can look back and be proud of how it all came together.  Some stories were simply more detailed versions of what I had known, and some came somewhat as a shocker.  Things might be completely different now if they’d chosen an alternative option 25 years ago.  I might not even exist.

Nonetheless, Mom had a central theme to their stories and all their decisions.  They had one simple goal — to protect and to take care of the family.

I had three realizations from the conversation.

  1. Don’t take for granted what you have today.  Life continues and you’ll have many more decisions to make that can make small and dramatic changes to your present state.  Even my parents are still making decisions everyday.  It never ends.
  2. Don’t take others’ successes for granted. No one is that lucky.  No one made it in life in one smooth sail.  The refined versions of my parents’ stories made me realize even more that success is not created by a string of successes.  There are integral pockets of difficulties and moments of failures.  The Feel Bad Effect is naïve.  Don’t envy others.  You never know what they have gone through or have going on in the background.
  3. Life is not about finding that one opportunity that will give you a smooth sail for the rest of the way.  It’s about making the best decisions you can along the way.  Focus on yourself, and focus on your goals.  That’s the best decision you can make for yourself today, and everyday.

I love Hong Kong.

Yes, I love my hometown.

This past weekend I was in Shanghai for the World Expo 2010; it was also the first time I had been back since five years ago.  I was waiting to be impressed!  There’s been a lot of recent hype about the city — from news media to word-of-mouth from friends — that it has rapidly developed into a vibrant city.  A new Hong Kong, just as good, but even bigger and with higher potential.  It was also a huge deal when the Chinese government announced about a year ago that they will establish Shanghai as the new financial base for the country.  It was frightening news.

Hong Kong’s economy is essentially built on its finance, real estate, and the tourism industries.  When the announcement was made, I’d subconsciously begun to adopt the mindset that Shanghai should be my new career goal.  At the same time, I’ve condemned all those Hong Kong people who openly protest against the Chinese government and their legislations.  China is going to ditch us, Hong Kong.  Stop it or we’ll die.

Funny enough, Shanghai did not surprise me too much.  Other than its size, I can objectively profess that we have a better subway system, (slightly) better breathing air, better skyline, better city design and, sorry to say, better cultured people.  It’s certainly much more advanced than where I left it five years ago, but nonetheless highly overrated.  No matter how much China is willing to devote to Shanghai, it cannot quickly displace half a century of effort of the British.  Secretly, I was almost relieved for my hometown.  Long ways to go, Shanghai!

Yet, in a conversation with a friend, I found myself saying, “I love the place…but, the people, eh, not as much.”  It’s all a little difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t lived in the place for an extended period of time.  But there was a story in the news today that rather exemplified the situation.

A Hong Kong 10th grader has been found to not know how to tie his shoelaces or how to wash his hair.

Don’t read this story wrong — this boy is perfectly capable of performing those tasks physically.  But, when having multiple maids at home is normalized in a society, children like this boy, unfortunately, do not feel the need to learn such miniscule everyday tasks for their own survivals.  We have been overly blessed.  The opportunities to challenge our younger generation have been limited.  As a result, we have bodies of volatile personalities and mental states.  Suicide stories due to stress from school, peer pressures and (puppy love) relationship problems are regulars.

There’s a Chinese saying, “Males need to be raised poor; females need to be raised rich.”  I learned it just a few weeks ago, and have appreciated its meaning since.  Gender roles have changed and we’re not necessarily talking about ideal spouses here, so the literal meaning might not be as relevant.  However, it still hits home with two points.  Having been in situations of difficulties, it builds ambitions and character.  Having been in situations of the privileged, it establishes standards.

Hong Kong has standards.  It’s such an incredible city, it never fails to amaze anybody that visits.  I’m always proud to showoff my hometown.  But it’s current lacking ambitions and the concentration to self-discover once again.  We’re too proud of ourselves.  When we, including myself, look at the China Mainlanders that admire our glamorous landmarks and sites, there is a collective sense of superiority.  But, it’s a trap.  We’re stuck at how we’re better than others.  And at the sign of threats, we only know to ridicule or blame.  We have all that it takes to continue to thrive, we just need to learn to focus on ourselves again.

Hong Kong, you are the most wonderful place on earth, so, please, don’t settle.  You are your toughest competitor.

No excuses.

My parents came home earlier this week slightly anxious — apparently Grandma just engaged in a fight with her neighbor.  I asked them why, and they claimed that the neighbor must be bitter.   Seeing my blank stare, they explained that Grandma has just been recently elected (an actual election!) to be a board member for her housing estate.  The board represents the needs of over 1000 units (in which she got 900+ votes!) and make decisions in regards to budgets and spending.  The neighbor had been a member for years, but just lost the recent election…to Grandma, of course.

Wow.  Way to go, Grandma!

My parents did not quite agree with my assessment.  They think that Grandma is getting too old for that type of work.  She’s been having heart problems in the past few years, had a surgery a couple years ago, and should not take on “unnecessary” responsibilities.  The strained relationship with the neighbor also isn’t an ideal situation.  Especially at this age, if she for whatever reason needs help, the neighbor might be less willing to lend a hand now.

I understood their concerns, but yet wouldn’t budge on giving my full support for Grandma.

Grandma is living an important lesson for me — when you have a vision and a plan, you have to take action.  Sure, there could be some health and people risks, but those circumstances in your life are no excuses.  She might have already raised nine children who all turned out to be at least decently successful, ranging from executive of one of Asia’s largest apparel company to a freight company entrepreneur, too, but it’s never enough.  She might not have received any type of formal education, but she knew that much.  At the age of 85, she is still wanting to contribute in any way possible.

I’m so proud of you, Grandma.  You put many people to shame.

Get in sync.

Today I am much more appreciative of our weekly blog posts.

This week has by far been my least productive.  Being at home, both my body and mind need adjustment.  For one, I’ve been sick and haven’t been able to sleep well.  But more importantly, without my cult and without a proper work environment (i.e. a work desk), it’s been difficult trying to make serious progress when family and friends just want to spend as much time together possible before I head back to the states for work.  The fact that I have a job lined up has also been frequently cited as the reason to relax and an excuse to push personal development plans to the side.  Now I’m stuck in the present.

It’s not all external, of course.  Who am I kidding?  It’s been one of those weeks where all I do is feel bad.  I feel tired.  Then I watch my crew do more and more over the week, and I feel even more behind.  What do you do during these lows?

I realized that your most important and effective inspiration is your very self.

Earlier this week I read a blog post on how our future self is unreliable and is even more likely to postpone tasks because you’ve already set the precedent to permit those behaviors.  Sure, that helps set your mind straight a little.  But, in the end, you haven’t met that guy or girl in the future yet.  How do you, Trent Hamm, know that I wouldn’t be productive, say, tomorrow or next week?  The future self is one part, but it’s not enough.

Let me introduce you to the past self.  Now that’s someone you’ve met.  They might have been a little less knowledgeable and even a little fatter or skinnier, but, without a doubt, they were an empowered, optimistic, and ambitious individual that set all the goals and expectations for today’s you.  You could read all the biographies and listen to all the advice you want for others’ hopes and dreams, but nothing is as nearly as powerful and close to heart as the hopes and dreams you had for yourself.

I saw Elizabeth Castro’s HTML for the World Wide Web on my bookshelf, which I bought when I wanted to learn to build websites two years ago.  Obviously, that never happened.  I just added another unread book to my collection.  I could dwell on how the future self for then, i.e. today’s me, is still half-procrastinating.  But, instead, it reminded me of all the hopes I had for myself.

I came across an email I wrote to a friend about my summer plans merely a couple weeks ago.  I cited a long list of goals and tasks, and I said I’d make it work.  I felt her energy.  I’ve been there, exactly.

Not to mention, our eight weeks worth of blog posts.  They represent not only ourselves as individuals, but as a group.  We strive to learn everything, to be leaders, to never settle, to live selflessly….as we derive happiness.

When you feel inspired, write it down.  Share those feelings with friends and loved ones.  I’m grateful for all my friends, all our emails, and all the blog posts today.  They put me back in sync with my past self and thus future self.  Thank you.

One more.

How do you avoid complacency?  My dad has a rule: Do one more, every time.

Finally home in Hong Kong for my last school summer holiday, my dad and I decided to go workout in our building’s gym.  As he showed off his tight abs, he explained how he was gradually able to surpass the 100 mark for number of sit-ups.  At first, he was merely able to do about 30.  But when he’d set a new goal, say 40, no matter how tired he was, he would always push for one more.  And so he did 41…then 51…then 61…and now he’s at 101.  Weird numbers, eh?  Most of us would shoot for the round numbers, so why the XX1’s?

Ending on an odd number signals incompletion, especially for folks who are OCD like me.  It also aligns with the foot-in-the-door technique.  Once you’ve stepped into the 40’s range, 50 all of a sudden feels a lot closer.  Oftentimes, our bigger goals require us to break them down to little goals that wouldn’t be accomplished all at once.  You can only finish a book by getting through each and every chapter, and you usually don’t do all that in one go.  Yet it’s hard to reignite our engines the very next day or even the next hour.  I’ve frequently found it difficult to start on a new chapter of a book.  But, perhaps, it would be easier if I read the first paragraph of the next chapter before I put it down.  The “do one more” mindset breaks the psychological barrier that you’ve achieved and are now done — because you’re not!

It is also a mental note for yourself that you are capable of achieving more.  You can accomplish beyond the set goal. That’s not to say that you should lower your goals just so you can break them.  This one extra step should be painful, yet rewarding.

Dad: How long do you usually run for?
Me: I usually shoot for 25 minutes.  (Yes, I have terribly low endurance)
Dad: Okay, now run for 26 minutes.

In the end, I ran for 28 minutes today.  I was all sweaty and gross, but it felt great.  Tomorrow, I’ll be able to run for 30 minutes….or 31.  I already know it.

Just remember, next time, it’ll be easier.  The best part of all, of course, is that you will hit the big goal.

Just Lose It.

What if your life was on fire?  What would you risk your all to take with you?

Our biggest obstacle to “not settling” is the weight we currently feel on our shoulders.  How do you keep moving forward when you’re bogged down by all these basic living necessities, people obligations and prior commitments?  After four years, I finally graduated from college this weekend.   And from the repeated farewells and goodbyes and the never-ending packing, I had one simple realization: We can lose more than we think.

To my surprise, I did not cry during graduation.  I was never even on the verge of tears.  Did my high school graduation mean more to me, because my friends and I would take ten billion pictures and almost refuse to leave campus?  Not at all.  But rather, I believe, this time I was able to strip down the entire experience to the core and be content to keep just that close to my heart.  I can let go of the protected and homey Northwestern environment, as long as my regiment remains intact and fighting.  All the gained knowledge are now internalized.  They construct our intuitions and logics to decisions.  We’ve learned to learn and to practice what we preach.  It’s in our blood — and there is no need to dwell on those past happy moments.  It’s time to move.

There is also not always the need to have.  I have the tendency to dig for physical objects to throw out to de-stress sometimes.  But, even after doing that for years, I realized while packing that I could still throw out much more if push came to shove (for an easier moving experience).  It was a funky feeling when I could finally convinced myself that something is unnecessary or that its sentimental value transcends its physical presence.  It literally makes me laugh at my silly self.  Why has this been here for three (or however many) years?  Why was I never able to let it go before?

Because a lot of times, we never really realize how much we can live without, until we actually live without.

Naturally, I came up with a vegetable metaphor — let’s imagine we were all onions for a second.  We have an unfathomable number of layers, each representing a necessity, obligation, or commitment in our lives.  At what point do you lose too many layers that you start scratching the surface of your core or even damage it? In the beginning, it is an easy game.  But, as you move further, you start to hesitate, “Can I peel this one off, too?  What if this is it?  Is this suicide?”  Those are essentially the questions that we struggle with, all too often.  We just would not know the real answer until we are willing to risk our lives to find out.

Of course, the process is much easier said than done.  But, this is the mentality that we need to constantly strive for — to let go in order to move on, to say “no” in order to say “yes”.

To not settle is to live, and it is something worth dying for.